surrendering

accepting that she had no control was not defeat

in fact it was freeing

for so long she tried to make it all look 

presentable and perfect

there was always a laundry list of things that needed 

to be attended to

and if she could cross them all off by the weeks end

she would feel accomplished

but after a while  

she stopped feeling fulfilled

it never felt like she could attain the hapiness 

eventually the work became greater and more arduous 

the stakes became higher and higher

until one day she just snapped

she couldn't keep the plates spinning anymore

the contorting herself inside and out could no longer

support the cause

so she finally let go

of the insane dance 

and stopped fighting against the flow

she ceased trying to control the outcome

little by little she cleared her plate

of the things in her life that were superfluous 

she let go of the vampires who were sucking her energy

she started to breathe again 

which fueled her inner pilot light

she asked herself 

what makes my heart sing?

where is my passion?

through this life audit she was able to 

uncover her truth 

and discover where she had lost her way

a phoenix occured 

forcing everything to die 

in order for the new to grow

by evaluating  her life she was able 

to plant new seeds of intention

to more closely align with her life's purpose