good bye judge

sitting here

wondering whether 

i'm doing this right

why am i judging myself?

there is no right or wrong

ego needs to shut up

my soul is driving this body

i'm listening to my heart

it's gentler and feels better

i relax when i let go of the fear

and allow my ego to fade into the background

the shadows lift 

and the light shines through my soul

piercing my cold heart

with a new flush of hot blood

waking up my aching bones

lubricating my body

to flex and twist

going where the wind takes me

pulling my hand and leading me 

to a miraculous place of peace within

you are where you need to be

This place where you are right now,

God circled on a map for you.” 

― حافظ

you are where you are 

for a reason

God has placed 

all of the people in your life

to mirror your soul

in order to draw out 

what is within

you can't press the hold button 

and hideout

there's no playing small

forgetting what you are here for

our only work here

is to be our whole selves

don't check out

numb up 

dumb down

letting fear drive you

be still 

wake up 

listen 

see 

the magnificence 

of yourself

be alone 

follow your heart

do the seemingly strange 

unexplainable things

it doesn't matter 

or have to make sense

to anyone

God has gifted you

with the blessings of 

your uniqueness

the only failure 

that can ever be

is if you fail to 

follow your dreams

honoring your soul's purpose

practicing mindfulness aids in staying in the moment

leaving the past where it belongs

behind us

and the future to unfold naturally as it will

we have no control 

and if we let go 

and detach ourselves from the outcome

we save ourselves much unessessary pain

it's important to have goals and aspirations

to plant our seeds of intention 

but then let God and the universe take over

the old aggressive ways of setting goals

and forcing them to manifest 

in a do or die fashion is killing us

we are better off planting our seeds 

and giving it to God to manifest 

if it is in alignment with our soul's purpose

the key to happiness is 

honoring our soul's purpose

the difficulty lies in actually 

loving ourselves enough 

to unravel and get naked

to see ourselves through our own eyes

not anyone else's view of who they think we are 

or what they think we should do

it's being brave enough to stop

and just be for a while

to feel again our authentic selves

perfect souls with distinctive gifts

that when used to their peak potential

are the missing piece to the puzzle of the world

that is our first and foremost responsibility to God/ourselves and mankind

in order to be kind(love) to others we must be kind (love) ourselves

the most impact we can have on our world is to practice loving kindness

to ourselves and subsequently others

through this behavior we will find our God given gifts 

and go forth in the world and practice them

Brigid

Pondering life's mysteries was an activity that Brigid did often.  Her life seemed to be led by some divine power which she could not explain.  She was not a religious woman yet she knew there was a higher power at work weaving together a tapestry of syncronistic miracles. Which upon reflection Brigid realized the divine orchestration of her life. This realization comforted her with a deep sense of trust in the seeming chaos of her life.  Brigid knew that although her daily disappointments and seeming losses were opportunities for her to grow and become more aware of her responsibilities, there was a benevolent intelligence pulling the strings leading her to a greater purpose.  In order for Brigid to truly fulfill her dharma, she was forced to surrender her fears and choose love wherever she went.  There was no room for judgements or attachments to her outcome.  she simply had to let go and let God lead the journey.  Trusting that as long as her intentions were towards the greater good of all, they would become.  

Like a universal heart, Brigid realized that we are all one.  Our impersonal selves all want the same thing in this life; to be understood and loved.  It didn't matter what she did or how successful she was, or what people thought of her.  The truth was finally becoming clear to her that the peripheral accoutrements, possessions, children, husband, house, friends, clothing , car, job.....were irrelevant.
For the first time in a long time, if ever, Brigid felt a sense of true self worth that she was enough.  
And if she continued to follow her heart and allowed herself to be guided by love, she could discover the serenity, balance, peace and love that she spent so many years chasing.  This new found freedom posed a question for Brigid.  "What might I co create?"  Allowing the divine to drive the vehicle and remaining open to the wonders of the endless possibilities opened an amusement park full of magic and miracles beyond her wildest dreams.  "Watch out world!"

Waking up

sitting on a bench overlooking the sea

wondering where I am going

there is a wrestlessness 

inside of me that keeps pulling at me 

to make something happen

Where I am right now in my life

couldn't be all that it's about

there must be a higher purpose

with a deeper meaning 

i find it increasingly difficult

to continue the almost robotic existence

of the day to day rituals

some days i wake up and the littlest things inspire me

from driving down a country road 

witnessing the sea of wildflowers

to the mystery of a boulder plunked down 

perfectly in the center of an old stone entry gate

music uplifts me and takes me away to a higher plane

seeming to erase any worries or anxiety i may be experiencing

noticing the beauty in nature calms my soul

allowing me to let go of the worries of lack

or what my purpose is

am i doing enough?

am i qualified enough?

am i worth it?

who am i?

why am i here?

what's all of this stuff about anyway?

the more i meditate on it 

i realize it's really all just and illusion

this game of judgements of right and wrong

there is no perfect answer

it's all about choices

and the outcome is out of our control

detatch from our attachments to things,

people, friends, children, husbands, wives, family

and allow them all to be

without judgement

and by letting go 

we can experience

great joy and relief

that it isn't our job 

to make it all perfect

as we wish it to be

the goddess of beltane

the sun sinks into crimson 

burning her aching heart

like a Rothko painting 

the ombre bleeds

down to her soul

which is yearning 

for meaning and purpose

but deeper still

love

is she a fool to think

that it's possible to have

passion in her life?

When she was a fair 

maiden celebrating Beltane

she moved like fire dancers

to the beating of her own heart

she flowed instinctually

never questioning herself

never doubting 

she trusted in mother earth's 

lavish bounty

never fearing the end or loss

there seemed to be an endless 

supply of love, passion 

heat

but the darker days of winter 

had derailed her innocence and naiveté

she no longer felt the fire burning within

she lost her way 

as she uncloaked her heavy armor

out of sheer necessity 

because it had proven 

to be impossible to bear

she surrendered her attachments

to her outcome

and this freed her 

to see the beauty that had never left her

she was only asleep

not dead

the depths of the ocean beat at her soul

wave after wave 

renewing her spirit

giving vision to the wild

magical terrain of her beautiful life

the universe drums the rhythm

back into her soul

and she is  born again

ready to take flight