the glass is half empty

its a gray day
the sun is hidden
my head is splitting open
my heart is so lonely
the tears could flood the desert
where is my god
my lover's fear has bullied me
reminding me i am alone
trapped by others feelings
dependent upon their happiness
unable to connect to my own
the boundaries are indiscernible
who am i? 
what will make me satisfied?
they tell me nothing will bring me peace
i have to find it within
some days are easy
it all flows
my children win their battles
the sun shines
my lover laughs and holds me
i believe the world is my oyster
there are endless possibilities 
calling my name
inspiring me to pursue the 
seemingly impossible
i radiate love and compassion
not so for today
i feel defeated
weak
sad
lonely
out of control
hopeless
want to pull up the covers and hide
let someone else do it all
give up my worries 
be an innocent child again
with my blank palette
ready to paint my destiny
with rainbow light
deep blue oceans
shimmering stars 
jumping fish
swaying trees
overgrown gardens
warm breezes
visualizing peace
love
happiness 
fulfillment
when the glass is overflowing