imbalanced

Guiltily sitting in comfort appreciating the beauty and bounty that surrounds me. Wondering how and why our world is so disproportionate. Food being wasted in every home and restaurant, while people are living on the streets of our own perfect little town, waiting in the soup kitchen line. Children in far away lands starving their way to death while my son reaches for another bag of chips. Women purposefully starving themselves to fit into the latest "skinny" jeans which cost their weeks paycheck. While another woman suffers silently at home binging in the middle of the night stuffing her fears down deeper into her gut not feeling that she deserves the love that she craves.

I look through the latest fashion magazines and see anorexic beauty mentoring my teenage daughter. Catching her studying her thighs fearing they are too "flabby". Who can actually afford the clothing , handbags, impossibly treacherous stilletos, and rare jewels that they advertise? Who are these people that can actually live that dream of perfection? The starving socialites who bought the dream, while their wealthy banker husbands have affairs with the voluptuous nannies that they hired? I know that was harsh and cliche but it isn't too far from the truth. In this disgracefully imbalanced world that separates the "haves" from the "have nots" there is an old myth of perfection which we keep perpetuating. The obsessive compulsive magazine editors and unrealistic designers and stylists who believed the Cinderella story. Most of them come from nothing and have managed to claw their way to the "top" of the fashion world to feel their power and dominate the weak. I know because I was a model during my youth and I so deeply remember the insecurity and loneliness and lack of love which I felt in that world of "beauty".

Somehow the business is still able to draw in the beautiful youth because they are naive and the shimmer on the surface blinds you from the actual cold decay which lies beneath. And when you finally see it for what it really is, you are not the "right" vision of beauty anymore. Athletic healthy tall girls aren't in anymore, now it's all about "heroin chic". "The Cars" are out and now "Nirvana" rules.

Tyra Banks, a former model is now the symbol to our young girls of what it "takes" to be a model. I can't tell you how disappointed and ashamed I am of her. She is perpetuating the madness and the hypocrisy of that world. She is laughing her way to the bank, at the cost of these girls lives. Then she has a talk show ala "Oprah" to deal with the "real" issues which she contributed to in the first place. I don't know how she sleeps at night!

I pray for healing, humility, love and acceptance of what is natural beauty.