Showing posts with label self love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self love. Show all posts

Friday, November 14, 2014

Why does size matter?

Why are women's bodies constantly being measured against pre pubescent girls?  And why doesn't anyone blow the whistle?  LOUD!!!

Who said we are all supposed to be the same?  There are no two snowflakes, stars or flowers alike and that is what makes them all so beautiful.  Homogenizing our bodies to fit into a size 0 dress is unnecessarily painful.  


Surprisingly with all of our progress as women in the women's movement, we are still adhering to an unhealthy vision of beauty.  I am a 6'3" woman who suffered from rejection( due to my unusual stature ) in the two early occupations of my life.  First I was a ballerina and at 5'10" and still growing at 15 years of age I was forced to quit dance.  The corps de ballet needed to be uniform, each dancer had to mirror each other and there was no room for the lone weed who stuck out like a sore thumb.  I got into modeling at the age of 16 thinking that this would be a natural transition from dance.  Well soon enough I grew to be 5'12" as my agents would joke.  I wasn't allowed to admit my true height because models of my time were only supposed to be 5'10".  Verushka, a famous model from the 1960's was the only model that had made it at the statuesque 6'2".  But this was a fluke and only a handful of models who followed in her footsteps were able to work at that height and none of them ever reached her iconic status. 

The fashion trends of women's bodies has become extreme in every aspect.  Now that we have plastic surgery to achieve the unnatural, the sky is the limit as to how far we can go.  Modern science has enabled us to sculpt, suck, inject, nip and tuck the less "perfect" pieces of ourselves.  Like barbie dolls we can transform ourselves to mimic the most esteemed features of our era.  Almost like carbon copies soon we will all lose our unique features and become one and the same.  (At least externally)

It's funny to me to see the waxing and waning perceptions of what's in and what's out.  In the 80's the glamazon models seemed to be forced into extinction with the dawning of Kate Moss.  She has reigned supreme for the past 20 "heroin chic" years.  Although she opened doors for the more petite beauties of our world, she has innocently directed the collective consciousness of the fashion world.
Another beauty Kate Upton has heroically rocked the standard with her voluptuous curves finally awakening the world to once again embrace the full figure of a woman.

I am hopeful and excited for a new acceptance of all the various proportions of women's bodies.
Less homogeny more uniqueness!  It's going to take a village of strong women to literally model self love and acceptance to stop the madness that is reigning and ruling our media.  As a mother of two young women it is my job to accept myself and be a role model for them to see how it's done.  So I don't own a scale, I speak lovingly about myself dropping the inner critic, wear little make up, and am  trying to age naturally rather than obsessing over the wrinkles that naturally occur at the age of 47.
The beauty of growing old is the wisdom that is gained and the loss of caring what people think of you. Not caring wether my jean size is a 28 or a 32, if I am a dress size 8 or 12.  It doesn't matter what the number is, what does  matter is that you are healthy in the mind body and soul.   It's a huge relief!  

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

honoring your soul's purpose

practicing mindfulness aids in staying in the moment
leaving the past where it belongs
behind us
and the future to unfold naturally as it will
we have no control 
and if we let go 
and detach ourselves from the outcome
we save ourselves much unessessary pain

it's important to have goals and aspirations
to plant our seeds of intention 
but then let God and the universe take over

the old aggressive ways of setting goals
and forcing them to manifest 
in a do or die fashion is killing us
we are better off planting our seeds 
and giving it to God to manifest 
if it is in alignment with our soul's purpose

the key to happiness is 
honoring our soul's purpose
the difficulty lies in actually 
loving ourselves enough 
to unravel and get naked
to see ourselves through our own eyes
not anyone else's view of who they think we are 
or what they think we should do

it's being brave enough to stop
and just be for a while
to feel again our authentic selves
perfect souls with distinctive gifts
that when used to their peak potential
are the missing piece to the puzzle of the world
that is our first and foremost responsibility to God/ourselves and mankind

in order to be kind(love) to others we must be kind (love) ourselves
the most impact we can have on our world is to practice loving kindness
to ourselves and subsequently others
through this behavior we will find our God given gifts 
and go forth in the world and practice them

Friday, May 9, 2014

the goddess of beltane

the sun sinks into crimson 
burning her aching heart
like a Rothko painting 
the ombre bleeds
down to her soul
which is yearning 
for meaning and purpose
but deeper still
love

is she a fool to think
that it's possible to have
passion in her life?

When she was a fair 
maiden celebrating Beltane
she moved like fire dancers
to the beating of her own heart
she flowed instinctually
never questioning herself
never doubting 
she trusted in mother earth's 
lavish bounty
never fearing the end or loss
there seemed to be an endless 
supply of love, passion 
heat

but the darker days of winter 
had derailed her innocence and naiveté
she no longer felt the fire burning within
she lost her way 

as she uncloaked her heavy armor
out of sheer necessity 
because it had proven 
to be impossible to bear
she surrendered her attachments
to her outcome
and this freed her 
to see the beauty that had never left her
she was only asleep
not dead
the depths of the ocean beat at her soul
wave after wave 
renewing her spirit
giving vision to the wild
magical terrain of her beautiful life

the universe drums the rhythm
back into her soul
and she is  born again
ready to take flight

Thursday, April 24, 2014

surrendering

accepting that she had no control was not defeat
in fact it was freeing
for so long she tried to make it all look 
presentable and perfect
there was always a laundry list of things that needed 
to be attended to
and if she could cross them all off by the weeks end
she would feel accomplished
but after a while  
she stopped feeling fulfilled
it never felt like she could attain the hapiness 
eventually the work became greater and more arduous 
the stakes became higher and higher
until one day she just snapped
she couldn't keep the plates spinning anymore
the contorting herself inside and out could no longer
support the cause
so she finally let go
of the insane dance 
and stopped fighting against the flow
she ceased trying to control the outcome
little by little she cleared her plate
of the things in her life that were superfluous 
she let go of the vampires who were sucking her energy
she started to breathe again 
which fueled her inner pilot light
she asked herself 
what makes my heart sing?
where is my passion?
through this life audit she was able to 
uncover her truth 
and discover where she had lost her way
a phoenix occured 
forcing everything to die 
in order for the new to grow
by evaluating  her life she was able 
to plant new seeds of intention
to more closely align with her life's purpose

Friday, November 30, 2012

breaking my addiction

breaking my addiction to caretaking and fixing
no more playing God
holding space for people to feel their feelings
no need to change them

developing a new me
recovering new pathways from my head to my heart
no longer willing to play the victim
awakening to consciousness
moving from blame to gratitude

finding my highest vibration
stemming from love
loving and accepting myself
nurturing me

shedding the anger and frustration
allowing forgiveness 
to illuminate the shadows 
of judgement and doubt





Monday, February 7, 2011

Perfection Rejection

i'm feeling like a spectator
watching my life on a movie screen

wishing that the main character
would finally open up 
and make a difference
reach out and say i love you
open up the wounds
and show her flaws
 finally revealing the authentic
beauty that resides within
hiding for fear of criticism 
or even worse, failure

why do i feel like i can't make a mistake?
where did this feeling of perfection come from?
who expected this from me that created this paralyzing judgement?
when did it start? how did i learn this?
was i born with this affliction?

today i vow to be honest
take a risk and open up myself
to the world hoping that by sharing 
my fears and worries
that i might touch someone else's 
heart and soul 
encouraging them to try,
dream, love, hope, heal

i end the legacy of pain and suffering in solitude
i'm far from perfection
every day i fail at something 
but the world doesn't stop 
i'm still breathing 
with the opportunity 
to try again and hopefully get to where i need to go
and along the way i will have helped a few others 
to be true to themselves and encourage them 
to find the beauty and uniqueness
that makes them shine



Monday, December 21, 2009

awakening

trying to find myself
finally listening to my voices
not talking myself out of my feelings
letting me be what I am
loving myself enough to know that I deserve
to be cherished and loved
no more apologies for who I am
negative or realistic?
serious or deep?
diva or deserving?

We are all God's children
and the higher power wants us all to
be content
whatever you dream of can be yours
it's simple
no convoluted,twisted,painful sacrifices
just love yourself enough to allow the unknown
to unfold
trust in the darkness of the black panther
that the lightness of the love is on the other side
move through the pain and sadness to dance the tango
of life

why settle in the stagnation and not take the risk to grow?
God put us on this earth to do great things,utilize the gifts
that we are blessed with
be the beautiful being that you are
and teach all of God's children that they too are loved
and cherished