phoenix rising

she woke up with questions

for the past few weeks the mode of operating was full systems go

she kept moving forward and was in flow

trusting that things were unfolding as they needed to

there were many parts that needed attention...or not

maybe the trust and detachment needed to kick in again

she felt like she lost touch with her inner pilot light

in the process of change it's difficult to remain on the path of courage, faith and trust

somehow the ego creeps in and has to try and make sense of it all

put it all in a nice perfect package and tie it all in a pretty bow

in an effort to explain the seeming craziness of it all

she realized she wasn't like most of her peers

they craved security and comfort

predictability had become their anchor to a rooted life

why was she such a wanderer?

a seeker of the unknown

she longed for an adventure of not knowing

letting herself be divinely led to the darker corners of the world

the road less travelled

routine had become her unwanted friend

mystery was its replacement

this had become the driving force in her life

she sought out the challenges and welcomed them with open arms

would she regret her choices of letting go of the familiar?

she felt like it would all be good 

the things and people in her life would stay if they were meant to be with her

looking back on her life she had experienced many phoenixes 

and she always grew from those fires

a rebirth always followed giving new life to the overgrown garden

Liberation

listening to myself

is sometimes a very confusing exercise

my busy brain is like a ticker tape

that runs a whole inner dialogue

of shoulds and shouldn'ts

judgements

fears

self loathing

insecurities

for the most part

i am a positive person

but there is a lower level

of shadow that never leaves me

i don't think it ever will

what i have come to understand is 

this is just a part of being human

if i accept these dark feelings 

letting them come almost like

a dinner guest for a limited amount of time

they pass easily 

but if i fight them and deny their existence

they haunt me on an almost obsessive basis

the key to finding inner peace and my true voice

the one that lifts me and encourages me 

to take action towards my dreams 

is to allow the judgements and fears to be as they are

they diminish and hold less weight in my life 

it's like opening a dark closet 

and letting all the skeletons out to come and play

no hiding out

no secrets

no shame

this is true liberation of the soul

Venus

constantly looking for new ways                                                                                                             of viewing the seeming chaos of our world

sometimes the smallest things seem too heavy to hold

we get weighed down by decisions, choices 

unable to take those first few steps 

needed to iniatiate the necessary changes

which are needed in order to grow

trust and faith are the assistants 

we must rely upon on this part of our journey

stillness is also and important component 

because we need to be quiet enough to hear the messages from within 

these intuitive feelings are our guides which lead the way

the Goddesses journey is ruled by Venus

she dances an intricate rythm of love and beauty

never forceful, always receptive 

allowing for all possibilities to reveal themselves

and when the timing feels right 

she takes the leap ready for her journey to unfold

summer solstice

standing still at the highest peak

fully illuminated 

exposed in all my glory

no shadows to seek shelter in 

facing my soul's desires

feeling like a cat bathing in the warm sun

allowing the fiery rays to penetrate

and envelop my skin

feeling aroused by the masculine power

which activates my soul to dance

nourishing my passion

to manifest my truth

i feel the clarity and focus

which i've been dreaming of                                                                        

the wheel turned my dreams into reality

the absolute undeniable truth 

of the sun's magnificent power

reveals my inner most fantasies 

leaving me naked 

ready to take flight

to my soul's destination

home to the new nest which awaits me

ready to pursue the next challenge

i linger awhile before i fully leap

to savor this fruitful moment where

i can look back from where i came

out of the darkness

the seed has germinated and grown sturdy roots

there is a solid foundation of self 

that i can connect with in times of doubt

this is the apex of my journey 

where i am connecting with the sun

storing up its energy 

soaking in the confidence, joy and power

which i will need in the darker days that inevitably come

as this beautiful dance between the sun and the moon 

continues to flow

it is time to be led 

during the summer solstice

by the masculine energy

i know it in my cells to surrender and receive

the nurturing love that is enveloping me 

that desires so much to help me at this point in my journey

i can no longer covet my dreams keeping them anonymous

i am being found

rescued from the shadows of indecision and fear

good bye judge

sitting here

wondering whether 

i'm doing this right

why am i judging myself?

there is no right or wrong

ego needs to shut up

my soul is driving this body

i'm listening to my heart

it's gentler and feels better

i relax when i let go of the fear

and allow my ego to fade into the background

the shadows lift 

and the light shines through my soul

piercing my cold heart

with a new flush of hot blood

waking up my aching bones

lubricating my body

to flex and twist

going where the wind takes me

pulling my hand and leading me 

to a miraculous place of peace within

you are where you need to be

This place where you are right now,

God circled on a map for you.” 

― حافظ

you are where you are 

for a reason

God has placed 

all of the people in your life

to mirror your soul

in order to draw out 

what is within

you can't press the hold button 

and hideout

there's no playing small

forgetting what you are here for

our only work here

is to be our whole selves

don't check out

numb up 

dumb down

letting fear drive you

be still 

wake up 

listen 

see 

the magnificence 

of yourself

be alone 

follow your heart

do the seemingly strange 

unexplainable things

it doesn't matter 

or have to make sense

to anyone

God has gifted you

with the blessings of 

your uniqueness

the only failure 

that can ever be

is if you fail to 

follow your dreams

honoring your soul's purpose

practicing mindfulness aids in staying in the moment

leaving the past where it belongs

behind us

and the future to unfold naturally as it will

we have no control 

and if we let go 

and detach ourselves from the outcome

we save ourselves much unessessary pain

it's important to have goals and aspirations

to plant our seeds of intention 

but then let God and the universe take over

the old aggressive ways of setting goals

and forcing them to manifest 

in a do or die fashion is killing us

we are better off planting our seeds 

and giving it to God to manifest 

if it is in alignment with our soul's purpose

the key to happiness is 

honoring our soul's purpose

the difficulty lies in actually 

loving ourselves enough 

to unravel and get naked

to see ourselves through our own eyes

not anyone else's view of who they think we are 

or what they think we should do

it's being brave enough to stop

and just be for a while

to feel again our authentic selves

perfect souls with distinctive gifts

that when used to their peak potential

are the missing piece to the puzzle of the world

that is our first and foremost responsibility to God/ourselves and mankind

in order to be kind(love) to others we must be kind (love) ourselves

the most impact we can have on our world is to practice loving kindness

to ourselves and subsequently others

through this behavior we will find our God given gifts 

and go forth in the world and practice them