the floodgates are open
no stopping the waters now
can't shut the door
the light is blindingly bright
and the path is in front of me calling my name
who am i going to find along the way?
who will disappear?
will i lose the ones i used to hold so dear?
my friends are changing
i no longer need the group insurance
i am a free spirit that craves learning
and new discoveries
i feel like i know a secret
and want to share it with everyone
i'm an open book
nothing to hide from
no shame or regrets
i've forgiven myself for any past embarrassments
loving myself through the pain
because all of the stories of my past
are just that
they've carved me into a beautiful sculpture
full of wisdom, craving to share
needing to help and inspire
there is a method to the madness
the pain and struggles we endure
are what make us the warriors that we need to be
this world is spinning faster and faster
the "advancements" we have made
have robbed our human souls of the nurturing that
we require to be healthy functioning people
it's too easy to get caught up in the performances
and lose the practice
order the food instead of growing it
pay for the nannies to raise your children
instead of parenting
i am guilty of that
i made these choices
i was scared to be their sole caretaker
what if i did it all wrong?
my husband travelled all the time
it was so lonely and daunting to raise
three little ones on my own
with no extended family to help take the burden off of me
this leads me to finally forgiving myself for feeling inadequate
the way our world exists today is completely unnatural
it takes a village to raise a family and just because i have a street called Coast Village Road
in my tiny town of 10 thousand people, doesn't mean that i really have a village to help me
i find that although people say they can help you if you need, they too are so busy with their lives
and over scheduled families that they are incapable of coming to my last minute needs however sincere their offers were
instead of watching all the power moms who joined the PTA and make it to all the fundraisers in town
and feeling like the slacker mom who has something wrong with her because i can't "do it all"
i now realize that that is not natural and is unhealthy for myself and my family
we need to slow down and talk around our dinner table while eating a home cooked meal
this might sound old fashioned but i am coming full circle to the fact that someone has
to ground us and slow us down to stop and smell the roses
be bored, so bored that you create something magical
maybe learn how to cook a dinner with your mom
set the table
clean out your closets
shine your shoes
fix your broken things
snuggle with your dog
read a book
take a nap without feeling like there is something wrong with you
or just stare into space
turn the radio on and just sing and dance
look like an absolute freak and be silly in front of your kids
they will laugh and love it!
thanks for reading
Peace and if you need anything, like a home cooked meal
or a hug
or a child to be cared for while you take a nap
i'm here
