enlightenment

i am feeling stuck in the middle
grey
not black
nor white
it's an uncomfortable place to be
i can't seem to find peace
my mind keeps reminding me
of what i am missing
it makes me feel like a victim
my old ways of soothing myself
are no longer working
i cant seem to shake this unstable
feeling of standing on a wire above
a river of crocodiles
i realize that i have no control
of my future
and my past is behind me
i have to stay in the moment
accepting the sorrow
and loneliness
it will pass if i stay there
not fighting with it
or hiding under my skin
if i allow myself to just be
not trying to distract myself
from my reality
it will change and get better
my heart will soften and i am open
to my brothers and sisters
vulnerable to their hearts
this place in the middle
is a beautiful place to be
it is humility, honesty, acceptance
no running from pain
or chasing after happiness
just being open and soft
flexible and loving