lost my way

i lost my way

forgot to trust and listen to my voices

too many choices

people to please

feel drained

giving in to others desires

disregarding my own

sometimes the fight doesn't seem worth it

so i concede 

i lost my way

forgot to trust and listen to my voices

too many choices

easier to say yes than to disappoint

at first it seems to work

they are so happy 

but later i am full of regret and resentment

angry at myself for giving in

when i knew my heart wasn't in it

i lost my way

forgot to trust and listen to my voices

too many choices

and so life goes on

lessons are learned 

i am human

i will get back on that train to my inner knowingness

and remember next time to follow my heart

not sacrifice my own happiness 

to make others happy

i lost my way

forgot to trust and listen to my voices

too many choices

open secret

working through my barriers

feeling the pain that tries to hold me down

accepting the discomfort

trusting the impermanence

knowing there are frontiers that i haven't yet seen

wondering where they will take me

visualizing love and ease

laughter and tears

my heart expands to encompass my enemies

we are all one

holding an open secret of inadequacies

trying to protect our egos from being busted

risking the truth 

exposing my belly

to the world of judgement 

letting go of the fear 

releasing the need to protect

accepting the awkwardness

changing and metamorphosing 

into a free soul

ready to explore 

the unknown territory 

which lies ahead

Sophie Isadora

sophie isadora haber

our first born

the pioneer trailblazer

indigo girl

dreamer

dancing to your own beat

determined

brave

full of thoughts

imaginative

creative

funny 

wise beyond your years

intuitive

fiercely protective of your heart

you walk with the wolves

and dance with the stars

you swim with the dolphins

and dream with the gypsies

your soul has lived a million years 

inspiring us with your eyes

that capture truth 

you are sixteen today

on the precipice of being a woman

here i sit in awe of your past 

and in wonderment of your future

god bless you always

Ruby

Ruby

Tuesday

Ruby 

Love

she was born in the evening

after a day of shopping at Tiffany's 

eating at Barney's Green Grass

on a warm October day

in California

9lbs 2 oz

she was pink 

and cherubic

followed her sister

into this world

we thought about 

having her

and there she was

ready to rock n roll

make her mark

no hesitation

pure participation

no inhibitions

complete joy

trust in her parents

and the universe

Ruby 

Tuesday 

Ruby 

Love

Middle child

became a big sister

to her little brother

who is the mother?

problem solver

practical

logical

giver

teacher

truth seeker

dances to her own drum

doesn't follow anyone

goofy

funny

always sunny

free spirit

path maker

peace keeper

Ruby

Tuesday

Ruby 

Love

thank you 

for teaching me

how to be

allowing me 

to make mistakes

catching me when i fail

to be the mom that u need

you have forgiven me 

unconditionally

helped me to let go 

of my perfectionistic behavior

pushing me out of my comfort zone

into a new way of being

carefree, playful and free

Ruby 

Tuesday

Ruby 

Love

your future looks bright

who will you be?

a teacher, a dancer, a mother, a CEO?

i don't know 

we'll have to wait and see

that is a mystery

but i do know you will make history 

and this world is a better place 

because you are here 

peace is possible

floating along

a lone leaf

twirling in slow motion

shimmering in the sunlight

free

to travel to faraway lands

limitless

unbound by time

religion

law

cultures

a voyeur

drifting

landing for a short time

until it is lifted and carried away

to another destination

keeping with it

a story to tell

a secret to share

a message of peace

that is possible

if we could be flexible

and detached from the outcome

trusting in the universal message 

that we are all one

our differences are planned

imperative

necessary

an integral part of the plan

of undefinable beauty

endless species 

no two are alike

that is the magic

and the key 

to understanding 

gods message

of acceptance

and love

even through pain

anger and defeat

we have a choice

to learn the lesson

and see our journey

forgiving ourselves

and others

knowing that the human

experience is an exercise

of patience, forgiveness, love

humility, compassion, acceptance

if we could all lose the ego

peace will prevail

seeds of change

i'm holding the tiniest seeds in my hand

visualizing growth and beauty

trusting that the soil is rich enough

trying to plant them far enough apart 

not too deep but protected 

patience is paramount

there is no guarantee of fulfillment

just the day to day devotion

nurturing with water and sunshine

dutifully attentive

a day at a time

with the hopes of some day 

a harvest

transformation

my skin has shed

the shell is gone

nowhere to hide

raw

pores wide open

to feel

the beauty

the fear

the sadness

the loneliness

the inadequacies

the awkwardness

accepting who i am

nurturing my weaknesses

exposing myself to the unknown

hoping to cross the boundaries

from safety to ecstasy

trusting the plan

being the student

who in turn

will someday

teach