Ruby

Ruby

Tuesday

Ruby 

Love

she was born in the evening

after a day of shopping at Tiffany's 

eating at Barney's Green Grass

on a warm October day

in California

9lbs 2 oz

she was pink 

and cherubic

followed her sister

into this world

we thought about 

having her

and there she was

ready to rock n roll

make her mark

no hesitation

pure participation

no inhibitions

complete joy

trust in her parents

and the universe

Ruby 

Tuesday 

Ruby 

Love

Middle child

became a big sister

to her little brother

who is the mother?

problem solver

practical

logical

giver

teacher

truth seeker

dances to her own drum

doesn't follow anyone

goofy

funny

always sunny

free spirit

path maker

peace keeper

Ruby

Tuesday

Ruby 

Love

thank you 

for teaching me

how to be

allowing me 

to make mistakes

catching me when i fail

to be the mom that u need

you have forgiven me 

unconditionally

helped me to let go 

of my perfectionistic behavior

pushing me out of my comfort zone

into a new way of being

carefree, playful and free

Ruby 

Tuesday

Ruby 

Love

your future looks bright

who will you be?

a teacher, a dancer, a mother, a CEO?

i don't know 

we'll have to wait and see

that is a mystery

but i do know you will make history 

and this world is a better place 

because you are here 

peace is possible

floating along

a lone leaf

twirling in slow motion

shimmering in the sunlight

free

to travel to faraway lands

limitless

unbound by time

religion

law

cultures

a voyeur

drifting

landing for a short time

until it is lifted and carried away

to another destination

keeping with it

a story to tell

a secret to share

a message of peace

that is possible

if we could be flexible

and detached from the outcome

trusting in the universal message 

that we are all one

our differences are planned

imperative

necessary

an integral part of the plan

of undefinable beauty

endless species 

no two are alike

that is the magic

and the key 

to understanding 

gods message

of acceptance

and love

even through pain

anger and defeat

we have a choice

to learn the lesson

and see our journey

forgiving ourselves

and others

knowing that the human

experience is an exercise

of patience, forgiveness, love

humility, compassion, acceptance

if we could all lose the ego

peace will prevail

seeds of change

i'm holding the tiniest seeds in my hand

visualizing growth and beauty

trusting that the soil is rich enough

trying to plant them far enough apart 

not too deep but protected 

patience is paramount

there is no guarantee of fulfillment

just the day to day devotion

nurturing with water and sunshine

dutifully attentive

a day at a time

with the hopes of some day 

a harvest

transformation

my skin has shed

the shell is gone

nowhere to hide

raw

pores wide open

to feel

the beauty

the fear

the sadness

the loneliness

the inadequacies

the awkwardness

accepting who i am

nurturing my weaknesses

exposing myself to the unknown

hoping to cross the boundaries

from safety to ecstasy

trusting the plan

being the student

who in turn

will someday

teach

the glass is half empty

its a gray day
the sun is hidden
my head is splitting open
my heart is so lonely
the tears could flood the desert
where is my god
my lover's fear has bullied me
reminding me i am alone
trapped by others feelings
dependent upon their happiness
unable to connect to my own
the boundaries are indiscernible
who am i? 
what will make me satisfied?
they tell me nothing will bring me peace
i have to find it within
some days are easy
it all flows
my children win their battles
the sun shines
my lover laughs and holds me
i believe the world is my oyster
there are endless possibilities 
calling my name
inspiring me to pursue the 
seemingly impossible
i radiate love and compassion
not so for today
i feel defeated
weak
sad
lonely
out of control
hopeless
want to pull up the covers and hide
let someone else do it all
give up my worries 
be an innocent child again
with my blank palette
ready to paint my destiny
with rainbow light
deep blue oceans
shimmering stars 
jumping fish
swaying trees
overgrown gardens
warm breezes
visualizing peace
love
happiness 
fulfillment
when the glass is overflowing

alone but not lonely

here i sit on a saturday night

alone in my shell

my love is away

we've been through this so many times

it never gets easier

but i feel different than before

content to be alone

not needing to distract

wanting to be present

feeling my heart

it is so full

overflowing with a pull

i can't explain

there is some pain

but it is okay 

to let the tears flow

because i know 

i am loved

we've grown so much

i am full of gratitude 

thinking of all we have together

God is so good

we are living our dream

sometimes it's a nightmare

but we have the strength

to survive it all

together 

even when we are apart

good night my love

i miss you 

centering

finding the calm within the storm
going slowly into the deep
craving the quiet
yearning for cool darkness
facing my fears
embracing my weakness
loving my flaws
tuning out the noise
inhaling love
exhaling insecurity
choosing my peace
amidst the chaos
blurring my vision
out of focus
nothing makes sense
laughing so hard
i can't cry
smiling softens my heart
accepting age
surrendering myself
letting go of control
trusting God's plan
listening to my heart
flowing with the vibration
of the musical melodies
singing praises
thankful for the beauty
that surrounds me
loving mother nature
it is the only sure thing
that we know
the sun, moon, stars, ocean
birds, trees
awakening to the brightest light
warming my soul