Waking up

sitting on a bench overlooking the sea

wondering where I am going

there is a wrestlessness 

inside of me that keeps pulling at me 

to make something happen

Where I am right now in my life

couldn't be all that it's about

there must be a higher purpose

with a deeper meaning 

i find it increasingly difficult

to continue the almost robotic existence

of the day to day rituals

some days i wake up and the littlest things inspire me

from driving down a country road 

witnessing the sea of wildflowers

to the mystery of a boulder plunked down 

perfectly in the center of an old stone entry gate

music uplifts me and takes me away to a higher plane

seeming to erase any worries or anxiety i may be experiencing

noticing the beauty in nature calms my soul

allowing me to let go of the worries of lack

or what my purpose is

am i doing enough?

am i qualified enough?

am i worth it?

who am i?

why am i here?

what's all of this stuff about anyway?

the more i meditate on it 

i realize it's really all just and illusion

this game of judgements of right and wrong

there is no perfect answer

it's all about choices

and the outcome is out of our control

detatch from our attachments to things,

people, friends, children, husbands, wives, family

and allow them all to be

without judgement

and by letting go 

we can experience

great joy and relief

that it isn't our job 

to make it all perfect

as we wish it to be